Description

Losing someone we love to death is the most difficult thing I know I have ever experienced. I was ill equipped to deal with those loses when they happened.
I went into self destruct mode and suffered the consequences for my choices for many years.
When my brother Bill died I knew by then that fighting the loss would take me out of this life forever.
Bill never failed to be there for me. In his death he allowed me to let go of him in such a way that only Bill could. You would have to know him to understand the bond he had with those he loved. These are not words spoken to glorify him in death as someone he wasn't in life, he was by far the finest brother I could have ever have been given. Some times in life we wish for more in life than what we seem to have gotten. I can tell you the chances one has in winning the lottery are slim to none. In my life I could have been given any brother or mother besides what God in His Infinite Love gave me with Bill and my mother. In life I have won the lottery twice, who gets two wins? Bill and my mother were very similar in personality, both were non-judgmental and wanted the best for others.
I could write a book about them and still not cover the kindness they brought to this world.
My niece Brooke Smith Marston carries that same love and acceptance for me that Bill so freely gave. If you know Brooke and don't see this in her then your not paying attention! Brooke hung in there with me when I couldn't hold on any longer. Brooke loved me when others wouldn't and I am here today because her love saved my life. Brooke loved me and asked for nothing in return. She truly carries my brothers legacy into real life by her actions. Brooke knows the details and my sharing with her and her advice was exactly what my brother would have given me. I love all of my family without question. Some are toxic and I accept that and allow myself space because I know my limits.
Didn't plan on writing any of this so if it hits home with anyone then there was a reason I shared all of it.
I went to get the video because after my brother Bill died I needed something to minister to my soul. If you close your eyes and imagine as I did letting go of my brother you may see what I saw. Bill only moved away because his body gave out. He was to beautiful for cancer and i needed to allow him to move on to the other side, to cross over to a place where disease does not go with us. Pain and suffering ended when his body died but his spirit is ever present and the mantle was passed onto his daughter Brooke. Like I said, if you don't see it you have not looked hard enough. Want to spend time with Bill then spend time with Brooke Smith Marston.